Whitney Houston‘s best friend, Robyn Crawford, writes in her upcoming memoir that she and the late singer had a physical relationship, which she says ended over worries about how it would affect Houston’s career.
In her book, “A Song for You: My Life with Whitney Houston,” Crawford writes that their first kiss was “long and warm like honey.”
“As we eased out of it, our eyes locked, my nerves shot up, and my heart beat furiously,” the book reads, according to an excerpt released by People on Wednesday. “Something was happening between us. We never talked labels, like lesbian or gay. We just lived our lives, and I hoped it could go on that way forever.”
Crawford and Houston first met as teens in the summer of 1980 in New Jersey, where they were both counselors at a summer camp.
In the book, Crawford describes a physical relationship and the first time she says they touched each other.
“Caressing her and loving her felt like a dream,” she writes.
Crawford said their physical relationship ended by 1982 after the singer’s career began to take off. Houston allegedly told her that it would make their “journey more difficult” and told Crawford “living that life meant we would go to hell.”
After things ended romantically, Crawford and Houston stayed close, even becoming roommates. Houston went on to date Jermaine Jackson, Eddie Murphy and eventually marry Bobby Brown in 1992. Crawford ended up on Houston’s payroll, but over the years Crawford says she became more and more concerned about Houston’s issues with drugs.
Crawford writes that Houston told her she tried cocaine for the first time at age 14, and would often tell her, “Cocaine can’t go where we’re going,” but always said she “wasn’t ready” when Crawford pushed her to quit or seek help.
In 2000, Crawford quit her job working with Houston.
“I realized that I needed to save myself,” she wrote.
Houston and Crawford drifted apart after that, and Crawford writes that she was out to dinner when she learned that Houston had tragically died in 2012.
“I felt my insides shattering,” she wrote.
The memoir comes out on Tuesday, Nov. 12.