SNOOKIE & DEENA'S "TEAM MEATBALLS" IS 1 HOT GUIDETTE MESS!

The Jersey Shore's infestation of Italy is coming to a close, but not before one last epic 24-hour bender.

Oh, and because I know you're all on the edge of your seat - Jionni and Snooki are "working on" their relationship. Collective sigh of relief.

Okay, so Deena is still desperately trying to get Pauly to "do sex" with her and she is not taking no for an answer. Pauly is terrified, and hits the club that night to try to find a girl - any girl - to take home to stave off the horny meatball. Sadly, the club is full of duds - one girl even tries to touch his blowout!

"I'm really shy," another girl says coyly, before yelling, "I got a dildo today!"

Back at the house, Deena uses her powers of seduction to try to seal the deal.

"Listen," she slurs drunkenly. "I'm a good f***! And I have no shame!"

"Deena, I would knock the dust off your p***** if we weren't friends," Pauly lies.

The next morning, Deena and Snooki decide to drown their sorrows - or at least the memory of their sorrows - with a day (and night!) of binge drinking, meatball grinding, and showing strangers how to do the "Jersey turnpike" dance move.

If you don't know it, look it up. Not at work.

That night, the party continues, and as Deena drunkenly attempts to dance on a table at the house, Pauly D invents his latest catchphrase that will surely trend on Twitter.

"When you're trying to dance on a table and you hit your head on a chandelier, you got guido problems!"

Later at the club, the crowd starts booing the Situation, yelling "shame" and "piece of sh*t," as he goes into beast mode screaming, "I'll eat you!"

Everyone (including the viewers) is sick of the Situation only acting like the tough guy when he knows there are bouncers to break up a fight.

After all that drama, everyone goes home except for Snooki and Deena, who are only on hour 14 of their bender and want to keep the party going. So they head to another club to dance but get pissed when guys start harassing them.

"They were, like, making fun of us," laments Deena. "Maybe it was the boobs."

Just then, all hell breaks loose when a bartender starts throwing ice at the meatballs and they flip out and have to be carried out by security guards.

"Being kicked out of the club - meatball problems!" sings Snooki.

Back at the house, the girls decide to calm down by going for a soak in the hot tub.

"Burning your kooka in the Jacuzzi - meatball problems!"

Eventually, Snooki and Deena realize it's light out, so instead of going to bed, they get decked out in their trashiest "two-cent hooker" outfits and hit the town to keep the party going.

"We're not hookers, we're just Jersey!" Snooki reassures passing cars.

"At this point, we're tan wasted," she explains as they order drinks at a café. "And we need to be meatball wasted."

Apparently "meatball wasted" means falling asleep at the table and being sent home to get some sleep by the waiter.

While witnessing the meatballs' second bender, JWoww and Sammi realize they actually have some things in common: sobriety and a semblance of common sense. They bond further while cooking the gang's last Sunday night dinner, around the same time that Deena wakes from her self-medicated coma.

When the Situation yells at her to do the dishes because she never helps out, Deena loses it and starts yelling at him that she doesn't like him.

"Be a woman! Do something!" Mike screams, at which point Deena hurls a spatula at his head.

"Oh, you're gonna call me fat?" Deena screams when Mike threatens to make things personal. "I can lose weight for free! You need about ten grand to fix your f***ing face!"

Over dinner, everyone decides that nobody wants to live with Mike in the Seaside house. Vinny decides that the Situation has a choice: Either he has to change his drama-causing ways, or he has to leave.

Unfortunately, I don't think the cast gets to kick people off the show, and from what little I know about reality TV, I kind of think producers tend to like drama, so good luck, guys. Stick to contract negotiations, not casting decisions.

Is it me Or does Deena look like The Wicked Witch Of The West? Lol! Maybe it's her nose! But I would hate to see her in 20 years!






"TEAM MEATBALLS" LMFAO! They are 2 Sloopy Jaloopy Drunk B!tches! Snookie's a whore who show's her Chucha to everybody! How low can you go to sleep with Mike! Ewww! And Deena is so ugly not even Pauly would f**k her! He'd rather play butt games with Vinny in the bed! SMFH!




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