No Christmas Packages From UPS This Year

Where’s Rudolph when you need him?

The United Parcel Service admitted Wednesday that it would be unable to deliver Christmas packages to thousands of customers across the country on time this year.

Citing a massive backlog, the world’s largest parcel service simply could not make shipments on time, spokeswoman Natalie Black told CNN.

“We’re terribly sorry,” Black said.

Red-faced officials added “the volume of air packages in our system exceeded the capacity of our network immediately preceding Christmas so some shipments were delayed.”


The company’s slogan is “We love logistics.”

Black added that employees are “working around the clock to resolve this issue,” but drivers still had the holiday off as planned. Many items still won’t make it to their destinations until Friday.

UPS brass said they underestimated the giant volume of air packages they would receive during a shortened time frame between Thanksgiving and Christmas. They were also faced with severe weather in Dallas, which hindered deliveries.

Furious customers turned into Scrooges on Christmas, taking to the mailing company’s Facebook and Twitter pages to blast the delivery snafu that was slower than Santa’s sleigh.

“UPS s---s!
This is the first time I utilized your service and it will be the last,” wrote Tom Tabaka from Wilkes-Barre, Pa. “I’m sure FEDEX experienced the same increase in volume, but I received those packages on time as promised. I wish all the employees of UPS a happy holiday except for the management who is responsible for the piss poor planning..”

Online retailers such as Amazon offered to refund shipping charges, and provided gift cards to affected customers.


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