LOL! CRACKHEAD ARRESTED FOR MASTURBATING IN STARBUCKS!

A woman who allegedly masturbated in a Florida Starbucks was taken into custody Thursday after cops found a glass pipe with cocaine residue in her purse, authorities said.

“We got called there by someone who said she was masturbating. She was high on crack with her hands going everywhere,” Bradenton Police spokesman Josh Cramer told the Daily News.

“No one could ever say for sure what she was doing, and I’m pretty sure the video didn’t show anything definitive. But her hands went into her pants when she was wigging out,” he said.

A police report obtained by TheSmokingGun.com said Jennifer Piranian, 29, told officers she wasn’t well when they found her in the coffee house.

“Once I arrived on scene I made contact with the defendant who advised she was dropped off at the location by her friends and she was waiting to go to the hospital due to an infection or spider bite that she believed she had,” one of the cops wrote in the report.

The officers offered to give her a ride but asked to first search her purse. She consented, cops said.

They discovered “a glass stem” pipe inside the bag, and it tested positive for cocaine residue, cops said.

Piranian was arrested for possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia and was transported to Manatee County jail on $1,120 bond, The Smoking Gun reported.






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