LMFAO! THE CHARACTERS THEY FIND ON AMERICAN IDOL!

The phrase "Welcome to Hollywood" never meant less than it did Thursday.
The contestants were already there.

Thursday's installment of "American Idol" featured auditions from "A.I.'s" backlot in L.A., buttressed by a few folks flown in through submissions via MySpace. The latter venue wasn't just a first for the show, it also provided a big fat plug to the social network owned by Fox czar Rupert Murdoch, which could certainly use it in the Facebook age.

As if acknowledging the impotent storyline of Thursday's show, "A.I." served up almost entirely planted, or prat-fall worthy, performances.

"Talk about delusional," said Randy after a guy named Matt "Big Stats" Frankel proved he could neither sing nor rap.

"Well, it is L.A.," Steven Tyler shot back in case we missed the point.

Not that the greatly padded hour lacked a few passable contenders. Twenty-three-year-old Tim Halpern proved himself functionally adept at Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved," though he brought nary a trace of originality to it. Likewise, 21-year-old Karen Rodriguez, from New York, snuck by with an over-sung, but competent, jazz-R&B run at "Our Love Is Here To Stay."

Another wanna-be named Heidi mimicked Alicia Keys to a decent degree on "Superwoman," though her passing grade no doubt had more to do with her hips than anything that passed through her lips. (The sole nay vote came from the panel's sole female member, J. Lo).

Only one segment turned up notable talent. The Latino brothers Aaron and Mark Gutierrez dueted on Bill Withers' "Lean On Me," gracefully entwining their voices in a way only practice and genetics can create.

If the rest descended into one canned stunt after another, at least one gaff had enough "WTF" potential to deserve a second life on YouTube. Cooper Robinson, who gave his age as "maybe 59," chewed his way through James Brown's "I Feel Good" like a rabid bat on PCP.

Somewhere William Hung must have been smiling.

LMFAO! THE CHARACTERS THEY FIND ON AMERICAN IDOL! GOTTA GIVE IT 2 HE THOUGH! HE'S STILL CHASING DREAMS @ 59! LOL! WHY HE LOOK LIKE SANDMAN? TALKING ABOUT PLANTATIONS?

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