LMFAO! SNOOKIE HAS A BOOK! CAN THIS B!TCH EVEN READ?

Gym, tan, laundry and, oh yeah, write a novel.

Nicole (Snooki) Polizzi has added to "Jersey" lore with "A Shore Thing," a novel collaboration with writer Valerie Frankel, which hit bookstores Tuesda.

The pint-size loudmouth - who, now that she’s an author, prefers to be called Nicole - tells the Daily News that "words can't even describe" what it means to her to have her book on stands.

"I never knew I would write a book!" she gushes, perhaps echoing the sentiments of even the most devout Snooki lovers. "But I'm so happy I did."

"Jersey Shore" viewers are, too. So many people were expected at her signing at the Grove in L.A. Tuesday night that fans were lining up for wristbands at 9 in the morning for the 7 p.m. event.

"I'm very happy that a lot of people want to read it, and that people who have read it are impressed," says Polizzi, 24. "The people who aren't going to read it, the negative people, I'm sure if they DID read it, they'd think it was awesome."

If you’re one of THOSE people, here's what you’re missing: "Pint-sized" Giovanna (Gia) Spumanti and her cousin, the taller and tougher Isabella (Bella) Rizzoli, spend an action-packed summer on the Jersey Shore.

The two encounter gorillas ("big, ripped, tan" guys), make out ("Twenty minutes from club entry to hookup ... might be a record, even for Gia") and navigate fashion dilemmas ("If there was one rule about how to dress on the Jersey Shore: Less was more") throughout their summer in Seaside Heights.

"Life was hard," the book begins. "But a pouf? That should be easy."

Sound familiar? Although the story is "fiction," Snooki (sorry, Nicole) admits that it's based on her and her on- and off-screen BFF, Jenni (JWoww) Farley.

"There was so much drama on the show, between the girl fights and the boys, that I had so many ideas to put in the book," says Polizzi. "I would make conference calls while we were taping and tell my managers what I wanted in the story."

This spring, Nicole says she will be brainstorming her next work of fiction.

"It's definitely one of my goals to write" a sequel, she says. She also promises that the rest of season two, which begins on MTV Wednesday night, will feature some of the wildest episodes yet.

That’s mostly thanks to new cast member Deena Nicole Cortese, who brawls with resident tough girl Sammi (Sweetheart) Giancola in the very first episode.

"I just have so many ideas now!" Snooki says.

The Marlboro, N.Y., native is making her way to NYC next week, where she will host a signing at Borders in Columbus Circle on Monday.

"I am so excited to come to New York, to meet all my fans," she says, especially the "Guidos and Guidettes" to whom she dedicated her book.

"Fist pump!" she yells.


LMFAO! SNOOKIE HAS A BOOK! CAN THIS B!TCH EVEN READ? HER BOOK IS CALLED A SHORE THING! IT SHOULD BE CALLED A SURE THING! CAUSE THAT B!TCH WAS JUMPOFF #1! SHE HAD THE AP(ANYBODY PU**Y) LOL!


SOURCE