IT'S ON & POPPIN!

The potty-mouths in Philadelphia want war - and we're ready to give it to them.
They're going berserk down there in that suburb of Camden because we had the audacity to suggest that New York is a better town than Silly-delphia and that our Yankees will beat the Phillies and their pig-nosed mascot in the World Series.

What? Did the truth bite you that hard?

The local Fox TV station started the ball rolling on its Web site with the headline: "It's War: New York Insults The Phanatic."

The Web site griped that some Daily News columnist named "Malloy" - jeez, could that be me - called the wacky mascot a "green, pig-nosed monster" in a "column that trashed all things Philadelphia."

They even urged Phillies fans to write to me - and boy did I get hate mail. You'd figure I'd be used to it by now, but Philadelphia fans - famous for booing Santa Claus - are always ready to take it to a new low.

In defense of the Phanatic, Philly "pizza bagel man" David Kline dredged up a long-forgotten incident from the '80s, when New York fans assaulted our hated ex-Yankee mascot "Dandy." Yeah, but he was a schmo.

Another Philly fan named Heather Ann, was truly stunned at my description of the Phearsome Phanatic.

"It is so pathetic that you feel the need to insult Philadelphia just to try to get ahead in this series. If you honestly felt the Yankees were such a better team, you wouldn't stoop to this level! Obviously the Phanatic is more mature than you are! Grow up!"

Wait a minute, Heather, you're attached to a big fuzzy green cuddly and you're telling me to grow up?

Philly fan Sean McMullen carped about how much Yankee superstars get paid to wreck opposing teams, noting the Yanks have spent hundreds of millions in salaries without being able to win "one lousy playoff series from 2003."

Until now, that is, Sean. We were saving it up for you guys.

And shame on you, "Mr. Bootie." There's no need to make Army doctor jokes about Kate Hudson. Forget it, I'm not explaining that one.

J.M. Couzens pointed out that Philadelphia produced Reggie Jackson and Earl (The Pearl) Monroe. He neglected to mention that both left for New York as soon as they could.

Sure, the Phillies are the reigning World Champions. For a few more days. That must be what makes their fans so insecure: They don't want to go back to the bad old days.

Hey, it's not our fault the Phillies have lost more than 10,000 games in their history. They are the losingest team of any pro sport in a streak that spanned generations.

Our man-on-the-street interviews down there on Monday were more like therapy sessions.

"I sat on my grandfather's knee for 100 games or more in the 70s," Philadelphian Tim Blackshear said. "We suffered through all that together."

Phillies devotee Alayne Winfield, who has been to every playoff game, was there in 1964, "when the Phillies had a big lead, and Chico Ruiz [of Cincinnati] stole home."

Her voice trailed before saying how that play touched off a 10-game Phillies losing streak.

"And in 1977, when the Phillies were in the playoffs with the Dodgers. It was the top of the ninth...." Her voice trailed off again.

Oy.

"We've had some rough times," admitted the Rev. James Pittman of the Arch St. United Methodist Church.

He's been a Phillies fan for 40 years, and says he doesn't have to suggest from the pulpit that the church pray for the team.

"Most of the congregation is already praying," he said.

Their prayers were answered in part in 2005, when Charlie Manuel was made manager and built a really formidable team.

Nice going Charlie, but it's still going to be the Yankees in five.