YAY! ANGELINA "THE DIRTY HAMSTER" LEAVES THE JERSEY SHORE OR IS IT MIAMI BEACH!

Well-played, MTV. Way to tease the climax of last week's episode and cap the hour just before we're about to see it…again. Last time it was the Sammi/J-Woww fight; this time it was Angelina laying a Rick James caliber five-star across the Situation's face. It's really impressive how you punked us twice with that, but rest assured: we will not be fooled again.
So here we are: Fight Night Round 2. Angelina, aka "The Dirty Hamster" vs. The Situation, aka "Popeye on Crack." And we don't even get to see it. You gotta be kidding me. Anyway, it looks like Ange got a good shot at the Sitch's face, which makes two roommates who have cold-clocked him. Although, to his credit, the Situation seems genuinely upset at first that she got so mad over his insults as to lay hands on him.

(Trust me, it doesn't last long: the whole episode is basically Situation riling Angelina up to the point where she digs her own grave. It's actually kind of mean on his part, which is unfortunate because if there's one thing we've learned this year it's that he's more a goofball than anything else. Big backtrack for the Sitch, this episode was).

Pauly D kinda-sorta unceremoniously boots Angelina's boy toy out, and Ange at this point has one foot out the door. The guys seem ready to rile up and kick her out in any case, but J-Woww, of all people, offers Angelina the olive branch and advises her to stay. The rationale seems to be that living with Pauly D and the Situation, on top of having everyone hate you on principle, is enough of a trial by fire to earn her a spot in the house.

Despite the uneasy truce, the anti-Angelina drama continues to the point where Angelina challenges all haters to step up and throw down. Seriously, it gets bad. To the point where the guys, en route to GTL, discover a rank cheese sandwich under the car seat (Season 2's version of the Haterade) and Situation blames her for that, too.

"We all know rats love cheese," he says of the stanky Swiss cheese stinking up the seats. The tension gets so bad that Angelina decides to pack up and leave, but not before she curses all her housemates as being "fake," which is about the worst thing ever in "Shore" speak. A plague on all your blowouts!

By the way, somehow in the midst of all this drama, these people still manage to go out and get hammered. Very committed to their jobs, they are.

The crew rallies from the first fight before T-Shirt Time (now with theme song!), and before long, Sitch's lady friend Samantha (the Canadian model) has arrived and the crew is off to the club. But despite having a conquest already in the bag, Sitch still has his head on a swivel and is checking out the prospects. One girlfight/upskirt shot of Samantha later, and the Sitch is back home and ready to get to the Business.

Or, as Vinny says. "Mike brought the Canadian back, eh, and he wanted to show her what the Situation was all a-boot." Vinny is the king.

The Sitch and the Canadian go in the Smush Room and apparently slaughter a wild animal together. Oh wait, those are just the noises the Canadian makes in the throes of Situation-induced pleasure. Right.

Big ups to the sound editors, by the way, who cover the girl's moaning with "O Canada." Genius. To Canadian Sam's credit, she takes MVP's ribbing in stride the next morning, and before long she's on the way.

Speaking of which, Pauly D has finally found his gimmick: he's the guy who yells funny stuff all the time!

When the sun comes up: "WAKE UP, OH YEAAAHHHH!!!!!"

When the evening's transportation arrives: "THE CABS ARE HERE, OH YEAHHHH!!!!"

During T-Shirt Time (with harmony from Vinny): "It's TEEE SHIRT TIIIIIMMMMMMEEEE!!!!!!"

Ronnie says Pauly's bound to get his own alarm clock line soon. Maybe after the spin-off?

The episode ends with, of all things, some Snooki-perpetrated drama. Seriously, when on Earth does THAT ever happen? Snooks finds some random juicehead at the club that somehow fulfils all the checklists on her Ideal Man-Guido Checklist, plus one more: he hooked up with Angelina earlier in the year. Which doesn't stop her from making out with the dude, which is the final straw and perfect excuse for one last bout of drama.

It goes down like this: Angelina's bags are packed, she's ready to go. She's standing there outside the doooorrr….

Sorry, had to do that. Angelina is all set to say goodbye and peace out, till she sees her dude with Snooki. A few heated words later and Snooki and Ange are literally rolling around the floor in a UFC-style rumble (down goes Snooki! Down goes Snooki!). It's actually pretty intense.

Angelina eventually leaves in a huff, with no one, not even Ronnie and Sammi, invested in her company enough to convince her to stay.

By the way, Situation is thoughtful enough to move the table during the fight. Not because of the girls. He wants to make sure the table doesn't break. Good thinking, bro.

Still, it's more practical than Pauly D's contribution: yelling "OH YEAH!!! OHH YEAHHH!!! OOHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!"

The great peacekeeper he ain't, but dude sure is funny.

And hey, we got to see the fight this time! Ron-Ron Juice for everybody, and a toast to the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island. Long may you nag, but nevermore on this show.